I know…I mention this in every blog and every video. But this is the reality.
My mom died, then I broke my foot, and then it broke me down. My adrenals crashed, I couldn't work as much, I slept a lot, and I had to re-build my life. It completely broke me down from the inside.
For about a year, I drank a lot of wine, worked, and worked out a lot. I could only do this for so long.
My “invincible” body was only able to take so much. I have always been healthy, strong, and happy.
Then my anxiety worsened, I would feel awful after drinking, and I kept on feeling like I was going through the motions of everyday. I loved my job, but it was still getting harder and harder for me to have the energy to do it. I started seeing a therapist, and started doing holistic therapy as well. This is what really spoke to me heart. Acupuncture, craniosacral therapy, massage, color therapy, and aromatherapy. I even got nutrition help! There came a point where I didn't even know what to do anymore. I was eating the same foods I have always eaten, but they were just not digesting, and I would always been in pain if I ate. It felt awful and degrading to my own self because of the line of work I do. I even had to go to the doctors office to get an EKG, because my heart hurt so bad. I finally let myself feel everything I needed to feel.
But, it started to get better. It started to get better when I finally decided I wanted to work on it myself. I had signed up for so many emails, listened to countless podcasts, youtube videos, and read blogs to see what I could do to get better. What I realized is that I couldn’t rely totally on outside sources. I would’ve paid anything to do that!
My work still continues. I continue to do my alternative and regular therapy. I started teaching and practicing yoga again, and I still listen to podcasts and read self-help books daily. At this point, the work seems almost endless. It it getting better, and I am certain I will have to work on some parts for the rest of my life. I think that is just part of life. We always have uncertainty coming our way, and its up to us to decide how to deal with it.
If you are dealing with something, let yourself feel it. Stop numbing out the pain, or distracting yourself. Let yourself go through it. It doesn't have to happen all at once, but it needs to happen. You’ll feel a lot more free, open, and you may even be able to help someone else!
In other news...
We celebrated Oly's adoptaversary last Saturday. We even had a doggy friendly cake! I'd say it was the highlight of their day!